The Lost Boy
Let me start this blog by saying everyone is fine...we are all safe and sound. It's been a few days since this happened and I think I can finally write about it with a measure of objectivity...
It was basically a typical work/school day. Big Dan was running late, so the kids and I ate dinner at the kitchen table. It was an informal, fun kind of meal with very little push back about eating vegetables -since I had chosen baby carrots and cucumbers as side dishes. (Favorites with the kids)
I fed the baby, helped the kids with homework, started dishes and went through book bags. I took the baby upstairs to get him changed into his pajamas. Then I realized I hadn't seen Daniel, (our oldest) child in a little while, so I had one of his sisters go check on him.
She came back after a few minutes and said she couldn't find him. I was pretty sure he was curled up somewhere in the house with a good book or magazine, but I immediately decided to look for him myself.
"Daniel!" I called out as I walked throughout the house. Upstairs, downstairs, throughout the basement, playroom...everywhere.
"DANIEL!" I called louder. Then I put the baby into the bouncy seat. -Mild panic was beginning to set in.
"This isn't funny, Daniel!" I called out as I went through closets, looking under beds.
Then I looked outside, and noticed the garage door still open from when we had gotten home...Worry and panic officially kicked in. I checked in the minivan, everywhere I could think of.
Then I saw one of our neighbors and asked if he had seen Daniel. I had to tell him that my son was lost.
I didn't know where he was.
And it was pitch black outside.
And getting cold.
His coat and shoes were still in the house.
All I could think was the worst.
With gut wrenching agony, I called his name over and over again, desperately listening for some kind of response. After yet another moment of silence my panic bubbled over as I shouted at the top of my lungs, "Dear GOD, help us! Why is this happening? I can't take this!"
The neighbors formed immediate search parties to canvas the neighborhood.
"Daniel, if you don't answer me right now, I'm calling 911!" I screamed with my hand on the receiver of the telephone.
I made the call I had hoped never to make. I called 911 to report one of my kids missing. It felt like a stone in the pit of my stomach and cotton in my throat. The operator assured me he gets calls like this all the time and he could just about guarantee that my son was fine...a small consolation my when I hadn't the foggiest notion where my first born son was. Only nine years old, so trusting, and so unlike him to wander off in the dark. I saw his skateboard lying carelessly behind my minivan.
Truthfully, my spirits sagged beneath the weight of the big, giant, worst-case scenario. And it was like a dagger in my heart to hear the baby call out his big brother's name -for the first time, apparently mimicking his sisters and me.
I texted Big Dan in all caps. "COME HOME NOW, I CAN'T FIND DANIEL AND I'M ON THE PHONE WITH 911!"
One of my next door neighbors suggested, "Let my kids thoroughly search through your house for him."
"Okay." I replied weakly. I was fast losing my grip and couldn't really think straight anymore.
It was like music to my ears to hear the voice of a preteen girl ring out "He's here! I found him! He's okay!"
I nearly flew up the stairs to see for myself. Daniel had fallen asleep in his sister's half-opened trundle bed! He had somehow slept through the entire ordeal...and he had been safe, secure and warm the entire time. I hadn't seen him when I looked through the room because he was wrapped up with a comforter twisted around him and just looked like an umade bed.
I can't remember much of what happened next. I know my knees gave out. I hit the floor wailing, sobbing -like there was no tomorrow.
Relief.
Praise.
Gratitude.
Love.
Losing and finding him within the span of forty-five minutes was the sourest, bitterest, most frightening, and most exhilarating experience of my life.
Somehow it made me think of the lost lamb story in the Bible, or the lost coin parable. I still can't claim to have any profound lesson learned with this experience. I can say that my panic only made the situation worse. It made my thinking foggy, frightened the other children, compromised my ability to search and think rationally. And I would've thought of myself as level-headed, calm, cool and collected under pressure...but I really did lose it when Daniel was lost. To tell you the truth, even remembering it now gives me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? Several people I know have had similar stories of temporarily misplacing a child. Do you think you might have been able to react a little better than I did (and for the sake of your kids I certainly hope you would) Let me know your story.
In His Service,
Sabrina
WorkingMom.com
You ask the question of how a mother might react "a little better" than you did. As mothers, we have so much love and concern for our children's safety, that we just don't think rationally when an emergency arises. We "think" with our hearts. I think you reacted the way any mother would in that situation. I feel your pain. My son was "temporarily lost" in a department store (6 years ago)when he was 5 years old. He was actually hiding under a rack of clothes. He thought it would be funny to ignore my cries out to him. The situation didn't go as far as yours, but you took me back to those emotions as you described how you felt when you couldn't find your son. (He appeared from the rack of clothes after about 5 minutes, but those were the longest 5 minutes of my life!) He thought it was hilarious, of course. I was torn with emotions. Part of me was relieved and thankful to God that he wasn't hurt or lost. The other part of me was angry with him for playing such a horrible joke. (After I contemplated the pros and cons, he was "dealt with" in the car!) Thanks, Sabrina for supplying us working mothers with support. I look forward to your next book! Love, Cousin Dalayna
Reply to this
I believe at some point in every mother's life they will experience exactly what happened to you in some form or another. Thank God your experience resulted in the finding of your son.
I too had a similar experience. Last summer I was in Milwaukee for the passing of my uncle. The repass was held in a hall (for lack of a better word) located at a community park.
My son was 7yrs old and was meeting most of this side of the family for the first time. Instantly he clicked with the other boys and began to play. I allowed him to go with his cousins outside while I was feeding my 20 mth old daughter.
My son checked back in every once in a while so I was not at all worried about him. When it was time to leave all the children came back and began to leave with their parents. All except my son. The group of cousins he was playing with returned without him. I didn't think anything of it at first. I thought maybe he was still trying to get his last few minutes of playtime in. I proceeded to go by the playground area to get him. It was empty. I began to call him. No answer.
I asked my cousins where else they went and did they remember seeing my son. They said they went to the basketball courts and thought my son was them. Little did I know that the basketball courts were located on the other side of the park which could not be seen from where we were. I walked to the courts while some of my family stayed to continue looking. I did not see my son. By this time I began to panic. I couldn't believe any of this was happening. All I could think about; was what he was wearing, how tall he was, how old he was, his weight, and the deep dimple that appears each time he smiles. I also thought about what the heck I was going to tell my husband who was back in New Jersey if our son was lost. I was preparing myself to take up residence in Milwaukee because I couldn't face going back home.
My heart was pounding out of my chest and I could hardly breathe. As I was walking back from the basketball courts, I heard someone yell, "We found him!" I began to sprint like I Flo Jo! When I saw him, he had this blank look on his face like nothing was wrong. I asked, "Didn't you hear Mommy calling you? Where were you?" He simply said, "No I didn't hear you. I was behind the building playing in the dirt."
I couldn't even ask anymore questions. I just squeezed and hugged him like I was trying to make him stick to me. The tears were just rolling down my eyes. I was so relieved. I didn't let him out of my sight for the rest of the trip. I couldn't take going through that experience anymore.
Sabrina, I know that you reacted the way any other mother would have. It is an undescribable feeling when you think your child is lost. You handled the situation the best way you knew how at the time. There is no way to EVER prepare yourself for something like that to happen.
- Fawnya
Reply to this
Hey Sabrina- That's a scary situation. great post! And awesome to see you in the blogging scene. It's about time
Blessings!
Reply to this
I have experienced two "lost-and-found" situations like that with my son. He is not a scatter-brained wanderer and quite a momma's boy, so each time it completely shocked me that he would be the one missing. I expect it from my independent, strong-willed daughter but not from him!
Sabrina, each time I "lost" my son - once in a CROWDED park in a large city and once in a friend's home during a visit - I made the split second decision to "act the fool" now and apologize and (hopefully) laugh about it later, then to be calm and react slowly and possibly lose precious time if indeed someone had taken him or he really was lost. I immediately went crazy- yelling and running and praying and crying- I do believe that is the "norm" and the natural, even God-inspired, thing for a REAL mom to do!
Thanks for sharing that personal time with us. We love you!
Reply to this
Hi Sabrina,
Truly enjoyed reading about your vision. My greatest vision is to be the Christian wife, mother,mother-in-law and grandmother that I can be. I want to live each day closed to Christ. One of my goals is to be able to get to the place in my daily walk that I hear God more and more when he speaks to me and that I'll be willing to listen. My husband & I lead a Christian Motorcycle Ministry called Carolina FaithRiders, we invision having the opportunity to see it grow and to reach the lives of many of our younger sportbike riders for Christ. My mother has lived with my husband and I for 29 years. I invision the time coming that will be all our own, after raising one son and having my mom live with us. I invision 30 years from now my husband and I enjoying our marriage more than ever after being married 60 years. I invision our grandchildren loving to be with Nana and Paw, and having the opportunity to take them places and share with them, and to make a difference in their lives through sharing our faith in Christ with them. Christ has given me a gift of writing that I have not used. I would love to pursue that and see where it leads. I have a great fear of failure in that area of my life. I'm just not sure where to start. I've written quite a bit of poetry and articles to Christian Magazines, but nothing publised. For years my husband has encouraged me to write the story of our life. It is definately quite a story to tell. We've made it through a lot by the grace of God. I would love to someday see it in print, because I believe it could help change peoples lives through what God has brought us through.
In my business life I invision someday having my own business. I stay home now & take care of my mother & I do appointment setting for businesses. I would really like to have my own virtual assistance business, while working along side my husband helping him run our motorcycle, and boat business that we're trusting God for. I just want to be able to be financially stable enough so that we don't have to worry from pay check to pay check how things are to be paid. I'm just looking forward to the day that I can buy someting for me or for him just because. I just don't want to miss out on the little things in life, by being so focused on the trials of life.
Felecia Hamby
Reply to this
My vision is to see my children Love the Lord with all their heart, mind and strength. I want them to choose to live passionatley sold out lives for Him.
Reply to this
I envision myself this year walking in the arms of my new husband. We are very content, basking in our newfound relationship. We have friends surrounding us who are just overjoyed at what God has done, bringing us together. There's a lot of laughter and support from my children and others.
My daughter has had yet another successful year at college, and my son is excelling at sports and is walking in God's calling.
Reply to this
Hi Sabrina: I really felt for you as I read the lost boy. Man, that can be terrifying. I'm not a mom, but my vision for myself is to be out of debt and have a BA and MA degree and teaching private school or homeschoolers art, specifically, calligraphy, watercolor, and plein air (outdoor) painting using perspective.
I would like to have a nice mutual fund, but if not, the Lord, I believe will provide. Right now I only have 9,000 saved up for my retirement and I'm 50 years old.
Reply to this
I envision starting big brother, big sister mentoring program for the community youth here at Harbor Gateway community to reach out to the young children who may not have positive leaders/parents in their family. There are racial tension, lots of gang activity, poor after school program, lack of after school constructive activities, elementary students fighting amongst each other displaying intolerance. My heart goes out to these young ones. They are lacking the parenting/guardianship, discipline and most of all, they are lacking spiritual faith. These are God's children, I'm feeling led to reach out to them as they don't know any better, and they can change with better guidance and direction at least given a choice and chance. I've already started talking with my local school's principal--there's unity meeting going on every month with the councilwoman Janice Hahn present. The attendance and participation can be better, I attend a local church with a Pastor that is supportive--I've mentioned to him already regarding what ways can we be proactive in improving the youth program in the neighborhood and he encouraged me to pray about it and let him know how he can help. I can envision a decline in the joining of gangs by 50% therefore decreased gang activities/shootings and also envision less school dropouts, better afterschool programs and increased tolerance and better knowledge and respect for other cultures as we live in a multiethnic neighborhood/state and help bring up responsible adults. I am praying and asking the Lord to lead me in this if it's His will and I want so much to make a difference for HIS glory.
Reply to this
My vision is to be able to focus on my family and ONE career that I love. I envision being able to focus on writing and publishing songs (and singing) full time, instead of having to scrounge up an hour here or there to get my creative juices flowing. I can see myself making a real impact on people's lives with my music. I can see Christians encourged and the lost saved because of songs that God inspired me to write.
I also envision myself being a better mother and wife. I can see myself being more in control of my emotions and always reacting to situations in a way that will give glory to God-- always looking to the Lord for my joy and comfort instead of the people and circumstances around me.
Reply to this
I subscribe to workingmom.com and your article on starting a web business has to be the most useful yet!! I knew there have been lots of opportunities online but have not been able to figure out WHAT to do. I am recently widowed with a young child and really needed this info...MANY THANKS!!
Reply to this
Hey Sabrina, I read the lost boy and that was a really great interesting story!! All of your stories have a good meaning and a interesting vibe to it!! Hope to see you soon and tell the family I said HELLO!! Love Ya!
Reply to this